The Bucket
The Water
& The Truth!
"We'll prescribe you something then" he said as he turned pale.
Apparently he had not seen this sort of thing often in his short career.
My message was clear.
It had taken me more than enough effort to go to him.
To straighten myself out and actually do something.
I hoped to see the sun again.
To be happy again. Maybe feel some happiness,
instead of living life with a bitter smile.
To hold on to my principles and convictions.
To leave all the negative behind.
To believe there is more to it than this,and that it will end again.
While I thought I had done something, and had put all my hopes on it, the opposite was true.
It was out of my hands, and I hoped it would turn out well.
I lost the grip on my life, and eventually reality.
I fell into a timeless eternity.
The unimaginable became clear to me, which was unimaginable in itself.
Time and place became a coincidence.
My condition was a vicious circle.
My judgement and ideas of how it should be were killing me.
Relativity led me into death.
The killing of the judgement, and judgement itself were the cause of suffering.
The concept of good was the same as the concept of evil.
Good and evil were the same.
Judgement was a ghost.
It was out of my hands, and I was no longer in control.
I had to do something, just doing something.
To take matters into my own hands again.
I had let this come to far.
The many realities frightened me.
I had lost my own reality.
The experiences I had made a deep impression.
They described life with all it's complications.
But the experiences were masked by negativity.
I was like a caterpillar who had left his cocoon too early,
and died because he could not yet fly.
I have died all my deaths, until I returned here again.
It was clear to me now what I had to do.